#transmisogyny

[phallicide]

Being a good ally means not cringe-shaming transfems. like I get it. she's wearing cheap clothes from Amazon. she's posting the stereotypical reddit memes about programmer socks and blåhaj and monster energy. Whatever. It's fucking second puberty. You were awkward at your first. She's exploring her gender later in life than a cis girl would. It's being a teenager again but everyone shames you even worse for not being grown up already, because you've passed the arbitrary gate of "adult", as if your own actualized personhood can be acquired that fast. Convincing and shaming her like she's the problem for being "cringe" or "reddit" or "stereotypical" doesn't help her actualize that self at all. It's the same shame society forces on teenage girls except it's "justified" either for reasons of pure transmisogyny or because she "should be acting like an adult", as if our childhoods, our girl's experiences, our girlhood, are not routinely and cruelly denied. What sense does it make to stifle someone who was not allowed to grow previously? Who does that help? Notice this behavior in yourself and others and correct it.

[hexalt]

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Yesterday, a Los Angeles passport agency refused to issue a passport renewal to a trans woman. The agency kept all of her documents, did not issue her a passport, and threatened to arrest her.

At first, the agency told her that they could only issue her a "male" passport. All of her documents (federal and state) are updated to "female." After she agreed to accept the "male" passport, the agency rescinded this option and told her that they will not be issuing her ANY passport.

They proceeded to keep all of her documents. She was told she would be arrested if she did not stop asking clarifying questions and immediately leave the office.

She left under threat of arrest. She is now without a passport and all of the documentation she had with her to renew her passport.

[puppydogdevotion]

to anybody doomscrolling: the vast majority of trans people irl care about other trans people deeply, our transfem sisters do not hate our transmasc brothers the way a tiny niche online group does, our transmasc brothers do not hate our transfem sisters the way transradfems assume they do

edit: because this site cant fucking read, im not claiming transmisogynistic transmascs dont exist holy shit i really think some of y'alls heads are just for decoration

[velvetvexations]

the way people talk about other trans people and our cis allies on here is just so horrendous

when i initially saw this discourse, i took the side of transgender radical feminists, because i have always been very critical of accusations against transfems. i have several transfem loved ones and i have been dedicated for years to making sure i unlearn transmisogynistic biases and am safe for my loved ones

i looked into these popular transfeminist blogs, specifically the ones ran by transfems, because i wanted to hear their stories. i was very taken aback by what felt to me like hatred and resentment towards transmascs. and i saw this type of stuff on the blogs of transgender radical feminists who AREN'T transfem, too

and i saw even more people talking about how awful cis people are, how cis people can never truly be our allies, how we need to separate ourselves from cis people

and i talked about this with one of my transfem friends. i talked to her about how i've found tumblr discourse and it feels like there is a portion of transfems online that hate transmascs. and i talked to her about it because i wanted to make sure i wasn't being transmisogynistic and having a knee-jerk reaction

and she told me that she doesn't hate transmascs. she told me that the things that were being said about transmascs WERE mean and hateful and cruel. she was very saddened, because these people on tumblr were sowing seeds of resentment between transfems and transmascs. she agreed that, while transfems face a unique subset of oppression in transmisogyny, transmascs also face a unique subset of oppression

all my other transfem loved ones also agreed. they said that no, i was not having a knee-jerk reaction, these were just genuinely cruel things to say about transmascs

i believe in anti-transmasculinity/transandrophobia/transmisandry/whatever you want to call it, because my transfem loved ones and i have diacussed it and they listened to me about my own oppression and agreed that there are unique ways in which we are all oppressed

i am not my transfem loved ones' greatest enemy. our cis loved ones are not our greatest enemies. transphobic cis people are our greatest enemies

i am the one who goes shopping with my transfem friends to find skirts that fit them. i am the one who teaches my transfem girlfriend about different types of bras. i am the one trying to help my transfem friend from america move to my country. my transfem friends are the ones who help me figure out mens' fashion and how to make my clothes fit me in a masculine way. our cis friends are the ones who treat us like people. not like freaks, or monsters, but like people.

transfems aren't my enemy. cis people aren't my enemy. transphobia and transmisogyny is my enemy

i can't understand why people don't love and appreciate our cis allies. after spending years being mocked and assaulted and abused by cis people for being trans, it's a breath of fresh air to see cis allies

like, with how popular it is to be transphobic nowadays, for a cis person to actively be our ally, they would have to be consciously monitoring their biases and actively doing their own research. they are ACTIVELY and CONSCIOUSLY making the CHOICE to stand with us. i love our cis allies so deeply

and i love my transfem sisters and nonbinary siblings, too. i have far more in common with transfems and nonbinary people than anyone else, even if i am a transmasc and transitioning in a different direction.

tumblr 'transfeminism' isn't helping my transfem loved ones. it isn't aiding them in any material way. letting them call me a theyfab does NOTHING to help them or to improve their lives. and THAT is why i hate this tumblr discourse. because these privileged pieces of shit are using the guise of transfeminism to be cruel to others, instead of materially helping other transfems like my loved ones

All very true anon. Thank you for sending in. <3

[nixisverytired]

Hey we all know pronouns aren't a privilege, right?

It doesn't matter how "annoying" a trans person is, it doesn't matter if they disagree with you on some intracommunity issue-

Use the pronouns they have in their bio, or the pronouns they ask you to use. Even if you really don't like them, or you think they're problematic.

Your comfort with somebody's pronouns isn't a factor. Using ANY other pronoun for a user that prefers it/its is misgendering. Same with neopronouns. If you can't manage it, don't talk to it.

Oh and just to be clear-

Claiming that a trans woman's account is actually "run by a man" is misgendering. Saying a trans man's blog is part of some "secret terf circle" is misgendering. Pretending a person is actually your oppressor in disguise so you can misgender them is, get this, misgendering!

I don't care how much you dislike someone, use the right fucking pronouns.

[transmisogyny-explained]

Making my own post because apparently this still needs to be said:

GNC cis men are not TMA, regardless of what specific words they use to describe themselves.

Yes, some TMA people do not self-identify as women or fem/mes, and some of their identities have overlap with those of GNC cis men’s.

These two things are unrelated because the specific words you use to describe yourself is not what makes you TMA. As transfeminists have been saying for years: yes, everyone is “affected” by transmisogyny to some extent. But proximity to transfemininity, being mistaken for a trans woman, does not a transfeminized subject make. GNC cis men being interpersonally discriminated against for their proximity to transfemininity does not make them TMA — does not make their identities inherently confined by the entire system of oppression that is transmisogyny — any more than TME trans people’s proximity to trans women makes them TMA.

What does make someone TMA is that they reject their male assignment and transition toward womanhood/femininity. It is both of these things in tandem that create the intersection between oppositional sexism (transitioning from one gender to another) and traditional sexism (rejecting the concept of male supremacy) that we know as transmisogyny.

Furthermore, it’s absurd to continually insist, no matter what new excuse you come up with, that feminism needs to start centering men and prioritizing their needs above those of women. We have had this exact conversation a thousand different times over a thousand different things.

Also, it is frankly bizarre to claim that GNC cis men can be TMA but then completely ignore the existence of GNC trans men. If rejecting male assignment is not, in some part, required to be TMA, then how exactly are GNC trans men not TMA too…?

The possibility that some or even all self-identified GNC cis men/femboys/sissies/drag queens/etc. are actually eggs or closeted trans women (insane thing to assume, btw!) doesn’t suddenly give them a pass for the rampant transmisogyny within their communities. Transfeminists have never just given a pass to TMA people for being transmisogynistic and putting other TMA people down in order to prop themselves up and gain favor with TME people. It’s a wild double standard to give self-identified cis men who might be eggs leniency but not extend the same to self-identified transfems.

And pointing out that GNC cis men are not TMA is in no way comparable to claiming that closeted trans women have male privilege? Closeted trans women aren’t TMA because they’re perceived as feminine men, they are literally women who have been forced to hide their identities. That, in itself, is transmisogyny.

Closeted trans women are still trans women, even if they call themselves men. TME people are still TME, even if they call themselves transfems. GNC cis men are still cis men, even if they call themselves femboys or sissies. What you choose to label yourself is more or less arbitrary, but the category into which a stratified society forcibly places you based on certain immutable characteristics like gender does, in fact, affect how you relate to conversations about privilege and oppression. “Identity” is made up, but Identity is not.

For the last time, trans women are not treated like feminine men (see: third-gendering/degendering); they’re treated like “failed women,” women denied their womanhood, women you’re allowed to abuse. To act like their treatment by society is the same as GNC cis men’s is to give credence to the theories transandrobros have been pushing about how transmisogyny is actually derived from “misandry.” Frankly, if you seriously can’t tell the difference at this point, then I don’t know what to tell you, you might just not be a transfeminist.

And, lastly, I will always be wary of any argument about how “x group is TMA too!” when nine times out of ten, it’s just TMEs trying to assert that they have the authority to speak over transfems about our own oppression.

[denyjesuschrist]

every fucking time

[luxiomahariel]

fellow white trans people, please read White Tears/Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color by Ruby Hamad

[transfemme-shelterdog]

Just because you defend trans men/mascs doesn't mean that you hate trans women/fems.

Really wish people would get that through their heads.

Do you also think that standing up for POC as a white person means you hate white people?

Or that if you're a male feminist, that you somehow hate men?

Life is not black and white, it's a spectrum with a wide range of greys, and maturity is realizing that life isn't as simple dichotomies.

[velvetvexations]

"Women you're allowed to abuse" is obviously ridiculous and self-centered nonsense that completely disregards the fact that cis women are still very much allowed to be abused on a horrific scale, but "women you can treat like men" is even more incoherent because it also implies cis women have it great and I guess get luxuries like having the door held open for them, and then in addition to that implies being treated like a man is a bad thing? But I thought the whole idea was that being treated like a man is always a social benefit? What does 'treat like a man' mean here?

This is just linguistic self-hypnotism. By all means if your therapist says it'll help repeat it to yourself at bed every night but I don't think you can call that theory.

And the thing is, people say "well if I were cis I'd still be oppressed, but trans men wouldn't be." And it's like, yeah, but that's not the reality we live in. A world where you're a cis woman is equally as fictional as a world where a trans man is a cis man, but perhaps more importantly is as fictional as one where YOU are a cis man. Like, YOU could hypothetcally be a cis man if you want to get into simulating parallel universes.

How can you say trans women are oppressed for being both trans and women, but trans men are only oppressed for being trans? Your status as a woman and not a man is just as inextricably tied to being trans as it is for them. How could it not be?

And for the record: anyone can reblog this! I highly encourage you to do so! This is a trans woman speaking to trans women and you are amplifying a transfeminine voice when you share it.

[tinkerbitch69]

IT’S 👏 NOT 👏 ABOUT 👏 YOU👏

Louder for the people in the back

"top surgery scars" includes the trans girl with sick lines under its F-size boob job. btw.

[ruthtearna]

The reason transandrophobia/transmisandry don't work as terms is because instead of coming up with a specific term for transmasc specific oppression, it instead tries to borrow the structure of the word "transmisogyny"

The word transmisogyny was coined as a way to describe the intersection between two axes of systemic oppression, misogyny and transphobia, as transfeminized individuals are both punished for their femininity or for being women, and punished for being trans.

The words transandrophobia or transmisandry imply there to be an intersection between transphobia and systemic oppression towards men. Men are not systematically oppressed, and trans men are not punished on the basis that they are men. They are punished on the basis of being trans and attempting to diverge from "femaleness."

This is why I prefer the terms 'anti-transmasculinity' or simply 'transmasc specific oppression'.

The discrimination which transmascs face is not the intersection of two axes, it is simply a type of transphobia, unlike transmisogyny which is both a type of transphobia and a type of misogyny.

Maybe this is dumb, but I illustrated it a bit, this is grossely oversimplified for the sake of the point being made, but I believe it to be an accurate dumbed down version explaining the roots of specific forms of oppression.

A more detailed version would include the overlap with racism (transmisogynoir, anti-blackness, the euro-centric origins of the gender binary etc), homophobia, and intersexism but again, this is purposely oversimplified version.

[cannibal-pentecost]

Looks like someone wasn't allowed in the treehouse 🙄

re: that other post. i HATE HATE HATE the modern trans discourse thats just "boys versus girls but Progressive this time I Promise ^_^" like you have GOT to be kidding me. its so so so odd to me that people can Be transgender and still come to the conclusion that Bioessentialism is Good actually, cis people are just doing it wrong. come the fuck on. does anyone remember when it was considered STUPID in the trans community to be policing peoppe based on agab. remember when it was embarrassing to Ask what gender someone was before transitioning. im walking in circles i feel ill Hello

[beemovieerotica]

watching afabs talk about resonating with transfemininity / wanting to identify with it in lieu of connectedness to other identities, and like, while i think a fair portion of this is subconscious transmisogyny i genuinely think a lot of this could be addressed by just a much better understanding of intersectionality and a recognition of the astronomically high bar required of performing womanhood in modern societies

like a lot of these people will acknowledge the ongoing controversies of cis WOC in sports being questioned and denied inclusion in the very gender they've been raised to be, and we can acknowledge that they are not trans women, they're not transfem, theyr'e cis, they / we all just exist in this incredibly restrictive society where the title of "woman" can be revoked from virtually anyone for any reason - though disproportionately weighted toward certain demographics than others

fat / disabled women are also denigrated in this same regard - on a personal level I started losing my hair as a teen girl - partially from genetics, partially from malnutrition - and i am mixed race and had to start shaving my face at the same time too, and I was "clocked" as transfem, sidelined by cis lesbians, and only found interest and welcome from trans women with whom, while knowing I was afab, resonated with the experience of having our womanhood policed due to circumstances of our birth and health

and I can see other afabs coming at this from similar backgrounds, but there is an entire gulf of distance between finding similarities and comfort with a community, and wanting that actual label and identity - and afabs need to be willing to dive into their personal history and have these frank conversations about where that alienation is coming from. why they understand that cis WOC in sports and fat/disabled cis women are still cis, despite questioning and gatekeeping and hostility, but they on a personal level must be different? because i still don't think it's really sinking in.

[transfem-confessions]

The Better Confessions Blog.

Hello my fellow baeddels, transwomen, trfs and *insert other dogwhistle.*

I'm Ellie.

As we've all seen, tfem-confessions has proven again and again. And again. That she is not actually here for trans women, she is here to shame the people in her asks, and support the right wing hate-movement that is 'trans.a.ndropho.bia'. She is not interested in hearing from any trans woman who disagrees with her discourse stance and tries to remain painfully 'neutral' while also taking a clear stance.

If you are an actual trans woman or transfeminine person, then welcome to this blog where you can have an actual space to be honest away from her bullshit condescension.

[canonkiller]

I just think everyone should take a moment to consider the question "what is your visual shorthand for cruelty?" and then follow it up with a critical "and who taught you that?"

specific examples include but are not limited to

why is an evil timeline character design disabled? (why do the heroes go through equally punishing battles and never lose an arm, a leg, an eye?)

why are the futuristic scifi terrorists uniformly darker skinned? (why are the heroes so much lighter?)

why is the greedy boss fat? (why are the heroes skinny?)

why is the criminal mastermind heavily scarred? (why is the brooding, traumatized hero unscathed?)

why is the predatory creep a bearded person in a dress and makeup? (why are none of the heroes trans women?)

who taught you that this is how things are?

how long do you plan on repeating it?